I Wanted More
by TryingWithIt
Summary: Serenity had always wanted to make it out there in their real world by herself with no one else, no one to distract her. Everyone around her always gave her back to the orphanage or just died, and she couldn't handle it anymore. So when so got the chance she ran and didn't look back. Till her past came reaping, with its eyes only on her. (M for possible mentions of abuse or smut)
1. Prologue

Prologue

"I don't want to be here" I begged as I sat on the steps waiting for the funeral to end. I had on a beautiful black dress, my arms embellished with a light dusty rose gold lace. My mom had been outside my door the whole past week trying to explain to me that the funeral was something I needed to go to. That I needed to grieve for my father. He had never been my father. When I was thirteen years old my 'father and mother' had adopted me. They had never been kind. I had been ignored by my 'parents' and my supposed sister Amelia who was two years older than me. She had always explained to me that I was unacceptable to be seen around at school. The thing that was even worse was when I had realized that the only reason I was adopted, was for Mrs. and Mr. Murphy to have more votes politically. They had been trying to become the next presidential family for some time now. That was when I had realized, that I had never belonged to the Murphy family.

Now I was at the funeral of someone I didn't much care for. I have only been in this family for two years. I am now fifteen. I don't know how to tell Mrs. Murphy who has been crying for some time now that the reason I locked myself away was not that I was 'grieving'. I had locked myself away because I wasn't sad. When everyone around you is sad and constantly crying for someone, in all honesty, you don't care about, I had a difficult time trying to relate. I have been told by many people I am awful by not caring, but I might have lived with him, but I never truly known him. Amelia had known her father before he got into politics. She knew who he was. The truth that none of them wanted to say though was that that was not who he was anymore, he was a different person who was no longer sweet or kind or even caring towards his family. He wanted to be stronger politically, so he became stronger at the price of his morality.

I might not have cared for the man, but I respected him. He had chosen what he thought would benefit his family in the long run.

I had been alone. Never in groups at school, never talking to people, and most of all never accepted by people. I, on the other hand, had accepted the fact that people did not accept me, it had helped me study them. People had always bored me until I had met Ryan. He always was curious about the reactions of people. He had constantly annoyed, teased, and bugged people to understand what in a way made them 'tick'. He had once tried to test me in a way, but I had figured out what he was doing and I had decided not to play his game. He then became confused by the fact that his constant advances had no effect on me.

We had soon become friends. The people outside the groups. The ones that didn't care for others. Some were amused by us, others were almost scared of what they thought we were capable of. I had finally found someone who could keep up with me in a conversation and not bore me. I wanted to have a true friend and I had found one.

This was all after I had met the Murphys. Before then I had been with multiple families, all of which had either died or brought me back to the foster facilities. I had constantly been looked upon with looks of sadness, regret, remorse, and most of all pity. One of the things I could never understand was the pity, it didn't make any sense to me, they wanted to feel bad about something they had never been thought and could not relate. Why would they want to relate? If they see how much pain the person is in why would they want to see what happens in there mind? That was the question I had been trying to solve since I could process thought function. Why? Why do basic life functions if you will die in the end? Why try to help someone you never have met and never want to meet again? I have come to a part of the conclusion, I believe. It is all a plot to make ourselves feel better. All something to give purpose to our lives. Me, I never invested in such things. Which lead me to be the outsider I am. Why? A simple question with so many answers. Why? The question that by the end of my life will be answered by any circumstance necessary.

* * *

Authors Note

Hi there. I am completely new. As you can all tell I am a writer. I have always been scared of showing my writing to the world. I have been _reading_ others fanfiction for years now. From Wattpad to these places have always been a safe space for me after a long day of school or a really tough week and I finally decided to give back. :)

P.S. If you like it don't hesitate to leave a comment or criticises in any way. I want to improve

Have a great day! :)


	2. AN

Hi, I want to lead it in the direction of Serenity's romantic partner so I want to know who you all think she should be with. I have made a poll for it. So if you go to my account and look at the very top you will so an Open Poll "Who should be Serenity's romantic partner". I am really looking forward to writing this so have a great day and please go vote.

By the way, **I do not own any of these** **characters,** I have all the respect for the people that do and do not want to get copyrighted

Pursue what your dreaming! :)


	3. Chapter 1

I am **VERY VERY VERY** sorry about not having updated in so long, and I can not promise a timed update, but I can try and be more constant. I have been swamped with school, but I will try to spend more time on this story, thanks for dealing with my crazy. :)

* * *

Everyone has been treading carefully around me. Trying not to upset me, I presume. I am now a sophomore in high school. I officially go to Southwest Lance high school. I got Ryan to enroll with me. I never had realized how devastating it could be to enroll in high school. New studies, yes, but awful teachers as well. "Serenity, we need every scrap of paper you have in your folder." "Serenity, speak your mind." " .no, you're saying the wrong things." They will constantly change what they have said for there benefit, no matter how it affects the students. I have my expectations for people, but I also have what I believe they can handle. For me, those two are quite opposite things. The one thing I had begun to fear was the fact that Ryan's father had told him they might be moving to Switzerland. I know for a fact Ryan would love it, make friends(he always was the social one out of the two of us), but I was scared. What would be of me if Ryan left? I would be alone. Alone. My one biggest fear.

It's a Monday, everyone's least favorite day. I prefer to be laying on my bed reading or watching some sort of James Bond film, but for now, I am in the car on the way to school with Amelia in the driver's seat.

"Hey, Serenity, how was your weekend?" some blond asked while walking near me.

"Oh, hi Victoria. Good. How was yours?' I replied. That was all she wanted out of this conversation anyhow. She hates me so for her there was no purpose to ask me how my weekend was; unless she wanted to be asked how hers was. She then continued to ramble for what seemed like hours but was probably only a handful of minutes.

*Bell for first hour rings*

"Got to go," I said while already scurrying away from her; halfway down the hall. While walking down the hall I couldn't help, but criticize myself as that's what all girls do. Basic matte black hair, that I had always wished was a nice shade of brown like all of the families that had adopted me. Then, my dull grey eyes with flecks of blue, which was the only part of myself I didn't really completely hate. My sheet-white skin tone. I had my scrawny little body which for some reason Ryan likes to say "looks fantastic", but I know how he is he is trying to make me feel better about myself or to make me feel like I have a purpose which I know for a fact I don't. I'm always just there watching as the world runs by me. I want to be part of it, but I have put myself out there one too many times. I know what happens when you try to make friends when you aren't already in the popular group you get laughed at, bullied, yelled at by people you thought were your parents for being a "disgrace".

As I walked into the first hour I could feel like one, two, three, and slowly the entire class turns to look at me. I heard a few gasps when people made eye contact with me. People always seemed shocked to see someone with a grey eye color. As I walked in with a blank passive face I looked at the teacher making eye contact until he realized he was supposed to introduce me to the class. His face had flushed as he slowly turned to the class saying "Class this is Serenity Murphy, you will be respectful and help her adjust to our new school." All I could see when he said this was a few girls slowly turning to me with the look of a 'glazed over money lucky'. I had seen a few around the different schools I went to. There was one girl though in the back she was reading, had her head down, and never actually looked at me. You could say this girl looked completely uninterested in anything that had no correlation to the book in her hand, then I heard the words that normally scared me "Miss, why don't you go find a seat". I started walking with my straight face towards the girl who seemed not to even hear my feet clacking against the tile floor walking up to her desk. The entire class seemed to hold their breath as my mouth opened not having heard me speak before this moment "Hello miss, is the seat next to you open?" I asked my slightly English accent peaking though as I said this, having been in England before being adopted. Her head had immediately shot up looking me in the eye with a face full of awe, I was confused by the look on her face, but keep my face passive repeating my question growing slightly irritated that my question was not immediately answered (what can I say I'm not a very patient person) "Miss, do you mind if I take the seat next to you?" my accent growing stronger from my anger. "Y-y-yes, of course!" she stuttered out looking in a panic, before looking down shyly. Aww! She was actually quite cute, she reminded me of a kitten. They are adorable, shy, and love their snuggles, but they will bite you if you get to close, and I feel like this girl whatever her name was adorable but vicious.

"Thank you" I replied simply still not showing any hint of emotion. As class went on it ended up being what I had expected. The popular people trying to either flirt or socialize with me, obviously in an attempt for money. Although, the main thing I was focused on was the girl next to me. Who was she? Why the bloody hell was she so overlooked? She was the most interesting thing in this class, and no one seemed to give her a second glance. As we were walking out of our first class I needed to at least ask her, her name.

Putting my arm on her shoulder I almost shyly asked "Love, is there a name you go by?" She had seemed startled that I had talked to her not once, but twice per a day.

"Ummm. I go by Marie?" She said more as a question than a statement proving my point that she was clearly uncertain about talking to me, but I wanted to see her reaction to being teased just a _little_ bit.

"Are you sure?" I asked slowly leaning into her ear, causing my breath to fan over her ear, "Marie."

"Y-y-yes" She stuttered out. I couldn't control myself and giggled just the slightest bit.

"Now you just might be the cutest thing I've seen", and with my luck, Ryan decided now would be the best time to make his appearance resting his head atop mine, meanwhile having his arms wrapped around my waist. His 6'1 stature quite different to my 5'2 height.

"Now, Serenity, are you trying to insult me? I thought I was the cutest thing you would ever see." He said pouting.

"While annoying _things_ get replaced by quiet little ones, such as her," I said gesturing to Marie. Suddenly Ryan seemed to turn very serious.

"Marie, I'll talk to you later, okay?" I 'asked'; more like ordered. She just nodded and scurried off, classic shy ones.

"Serenity, my dad told me to start packing," Ryan whispered in my ear sounding almost as heartbroken as I felt.

"No! Nononono." I couldn't stop repeating 'no' "This can't be happening, please don't leave me!" As I quieted down you could hear my voice cracking in pain "I don't want to be alone again, please."

"I can't do anything about it, please don't make this more painful than it needs to be. I will always be there for you just not physically. I love you. Goodbye." As she left me in the empty hall at school, everyone already having gone home, all I could think is the one person I ever saw myself caring about. Is gone.

* * *

Make sure to follow your dreams, and stay healthy


End file.
